Are you a Midwesterner without the time, money, or inclination to visit Ireland, but you still want to get a taste of U2 tourism? Look no further: it’s the U2 Tour of Tiny Towns.

Begin your trip in Clayton, Illinois, population 904, in west-central Illinois. Actor John Anderson, who had a recurring role on TV’s MacGyver but was not in fact MacGyver himself, was born there.

Bono, Arkansas boasts a robust population of 1,512 and is in the northeast corner of the state. From Wikipedia: “Bono’s most prominent landmarks are the locally notorious Bono Bridge and the quaint, charming Bono Cemetery.” Not sure if the town pronounces Bono with an “ah.”

Mullen, Nebraska, population 491, is in the center of the state in Hooker County. Conversation starter: the town takes its name from founding father Raymond Mullen of Dundalk, Ireland–a Church of Ireland clergyman–who fled to America during the 1798 United Irishman rebellion.

Finally, you can drive down to east-central Texas where, if you’re lucky, you’ll be able to locate Edge, population 100. I was unable to find any real information about Edge, other than the fact that it exists.

This from AOL Entertainment News today:

Bono Chafes at Italian Premier’s Propaganda

ROME (April 2) - Bono complained in a front-page commentary Sunday that he feels exploited by propaganda for the campaign of Italy’s premier, which says the activist rock star is “grateful” to the leader for the nation’s aid for poor countries.

Bono’s photo appears midway through a 160-page glossy publication prepared by Silvio Berlusconi’s party that is being delivered to millions of Italian voters before April 9-10 elections.

The publication says Bono “is grateful to the premier for action promoted by the Italian government on behalf of poor countries.”

Bono, lead singer of the Irish group U2, wrote in the Milan Daily Corriere della Sera that, in a phone conversation, Berlusconi had committed himself to implementing a decision by the Group of Eight industrialized countries to cancel poor countries’ debt so the money could be spent on health care and education.

“Tragically, in these last few years under this government, Italy has become the last in the list among the 22 richest nations of the world in terms of per capita spending on behalf of the Third World,” Bono wrote.

The premier’s office responded Sunday in a statement that the government “will stay faithful as ever” toward aid commitments. It cited Italy’s economic problems for “some delay” in delivering on its promises.

Saw this in a Sojourner’s April Fool’s e-mail, so remember, this is SATIRE. Still, I love to see U2 references in unexpected places.

The Edge launches solo activist career

DUBLIN - Anti-poverty activists were stunned today when U2’s lead guitarist, The Edge, announced that he will be flying solo in activist efforts from this point forward.

“Today, I am happy to announce the launch of Campaign Deuce, or The Deuce for short,” said The Edge at a noontime press conference. “The Deuce will call for the United States to give an additional 2% of their budget to eradicating poverty and its root causes. I mean, nothing against the Bono and ‘Brangelina,’ but a mere 1% reeks of 1990s incrementalism.”

The reference to “1% for poverty” is a not-so-subtle shot at the One Campaign, founded by bandmate Bono and several nonprofits, the goal of which is to increase the United States foreign aid budget by 1%. One of the prominent symbols of the One Campaign and the Global Call to Action Against Poverty is a white rubber bracelet worn by concerned anti-poverty activists.

However, one white band just doesn’t cut it for The Edge. “Activists need two white bands to make a real statement. At The Deuce’s website, you’ll find a permanent two-for-one special. In your face, One Campaign!”

Asked to comment on The Edge’s announcement, Bono tried to take the high ground, but couldn’t resist a few jabs. “The Edge has to do what’s best for The Edge,” said Bono. “I just hope Yoko Ono didn’t have anything to do with this.”

Speculation continues that Will Farrell and Ben Stiller have plans to launch an even bigger anti-poverty campaign in the fall. “We’ve been beta testing some brands with a couple focus groups,” said Stiller. “I won’t tell you what it’s going to be called, but don’t be surprised if you hear about ‘Campaign Ocho’ sometime soon.”

Farrell added a wink, then seven more.