This just in from The Guardian Online
Bono tortures Britney Spears with a voodoo potato
Allegedly. And we are the ones who allege.

Paul MacInnes
Monday May 21, 2007
Guardian Unlimited

Sometimes it’s difficult not to be a conspiracy theorist. Certainly when it comes to two events that took place over this past weekend - one in Cannes, the other in some franchise nightclub in Orlando, Florida - it’s hard not to see the links, the connections, the eerie coincidences.

Firstly, in Cannes, Bono passed somebody a potato. Why? The incident is so spooky it immediately caught the attention of the best-connected Goth in showbiz, Vicky Newton, who printed a photograph of the incident in order to pad out space, sorry, bring it to her readers’ attention.

Speculation as to the reason behind the spud shifting is rife. Some believe it is one of the legendary King Edwards of County Kildare, believed to bring immortality to anyone who turns them into a gratin with some courgettes. Others believe that Bono has, in fact, convinced himself that the controversial kartoffel is in fact his own child and that he decided it was time said child was fed.

Others still, and this column falls into that category, believe that it is nothing more than a solanum tuberosum of voodoo. For at precisely the same time as Bono was passing the potato, bar a couple of days or so, Britney Spears was having her miming lies exposed by a particularly malevolent CD.